Best Feedback Received:
After the peer review session, all three of my group mates gave me great feedback. The best suggestion I received was to have all the characters introduced towards the beginning of the story and then have all of them mentioned again at the end for some type of big finale for the conclusion of the story. More specifically, there would be a scene at the start which would include Raging Ronny, Crazy Cathy, Party Peter, Festive Freddy, and Hilarious Hilary all at the same time. Perhaps during a flashback or something along those lines. Then bring them all back together at the end for a big ‘final’ party. I liked this feedback because I thought it was a very good idea that would bring entertainment to the reader’s imagination.
Best Feedback Given:
The best feedback that I gave to my peers was directed towards a story involving a small child who plays a certain game everyday. I really liked this story because it reminded me of my childhood since the kid in the story did a lot of things that I did when I was younger. For example, agreeing to do something for your parents while they’re at work, then doing the opposite once they leave the house. I suggested that the author make the rules, mentioned at the beginning of the story, easier for the reader to comprehend or visualize in their head. The rules aren’t complicated or anything like that, I just had to reread them a couple times in order to fully understand.
One Element of Craft:
The most “well working” element of craft in my short story would have to be the dialogue between my characters. I think dialogue is very important in general because it gives the reader a good idea of who the character really is. According to the Gotham Writing book, dialogue can reveal a character’s region, class, education, and style of thinking. In terms of my short story’s dialogue, I think I did a great job of describing the characters’ personalities without saying it in words. For example, during Ronny’s first flashback to his first day of high school, I had the characters use slang terms that you would usually here in a public high school. When Freddy asked if Ronny had ever been high before, he uses phrases like “you ever been zooted.” Another example would be from my peer review draft when Cathy says to Peter, “don’t be a sissy.” You can tell that Cathy and Peter are close friends and won’t be offended by calling each other names.
Changes:
If I could go back and change something about my story, it would definitely be the descriptiveness of the setting. I didn’t place the characters in a specific state, city, or town. I think this makes it difficult to relate to the characters because the reader doesn’t really have any background on the cast of the story. Also, if the story took place in an actual location, I could have added real-life stores, restaurants, streets, etc.. which could have the effect of making the story seem more realistic and life-like even though its supposed to be fiction. Other than that, I think I could have described certain portions of the story in fewer words or sentences than I did. In other words, in some points of my story, I was over-descriptive and spent too much time explaining certain things.
