Journal #3:

Short Story Openers

SHORT STORY #1:

Today will be remembered as the worst day ever for now 58 year old, Raging Ronny.  Back in his heyday he was known for being the craziest dude at any party. Unfortunately, today Ronald “Raging Ronny” Smith will be checking into a retirement home in his hometown.  Ron has been dreading this day since his college graduation roughly 25 years ago. Once he arrives, however, he’s greeted by his friends from high school. Party Peter and Crazy Cathy nearly had heart attacks when they saw him.  They quickly start reminiscing back to their partying days.

Ron realizes that maybe the retirement home wouldn’t be so bad after taking a tour of his new living space.  When they make their way into the main ballroom, the three retired rager’s lightbulbs all flashed on at the same exact time.  Ronny is the one who said it out loud, “We need to throw one last party!”  

SHORT STORY #2:

It has been a very depressing time in the Johnson household.  Little Johnny Johnson had let his cat out and it hasn’t returned for over a week.  Johnny has been crying making Mr. and Mrs. Johnson go insane. They tried to buy a replica of Welch’s the cat, but that didn’t fool Johnny.  The six year old boy was just about ready to slam Mr. Johnson’s brand new plasma TV on the living room floor when all of a sudden he heard it… Welch’s signature meow.  

Johnny, Mr. Johnson, and Mrs. Johnson came to a dead freeze.  They all recognized the meow immediately. Not knowing where the cat noise was coming from, they remained frozen as the meow was now getting louder.  The cat door from the kitchen opened drawing the undivided attention of the Johnson family. There Welch’s was, except that the cat has grown double the size of the last time he was seen.  Then, in perfect unison the Johnson’s all said, “What the f*ck happened to Welch’s?”

Journal #5

A police officer and a burglar who pretends to live in the apartment from which he is stealing.

“POLICE! OPEN UP!”

Three hard bangs on the front door almost scared the heebee-jeebee’s out of the burglar. He removes the ski mask from his head and proceeds to answer the door.

“Hi, what can I do for you?” the burglar said.

“We got a complaint about a mysterious person walking into this apartment building. Do you live here?” replied the cop.

“Of course I live here, why else would I be here?” the burglar answered nervously. The police officers makes his way into the apartment and looks around.

“I’m going to need to see some identification.” demands the cop.

The burglar says, “not a problem, officer. My I.D. should be somewhere around here.” He starts searching through the real apartment owners papers, pretending to look for some form of I.D. while trying to think of a safe way out.

The officer and the burglar both swing their heads towards the window as they hear, “Somebody please help! That man took my purse!” A middle-aged lady was screaming for someone to chase down the man who took her purse.

“I don’t need that I.D. anymore.” the cop said exiting the apartment, sprinting down the stairway.

The burglar sat their for a few minutes and asked himself, “what are the odds of two burglars robbing two different people on the same exact street?” Then proceeded to rob the apartment.

Journal #6
Dialogue

Successful fiction writing and successful dating are basically parallel with one another. The key to obtaining successful fiction writing and going on a successful date is good dialogue.

Dialogue is the things between the quotation marks and what the characters are saying.

There are two ways for a writer to reveal any moment. Summary, which is when the moment is summarized up into a portion of the paper, and Scene, which is when the moment is told in real time.

The realism of dialogue is something of an illusion. This is due to the fact that most times the reader has higher expectations when reading a dialogue rather than that of a real life conversation.

When writing fiction, it is important that your characters don’t all talk the same way. This would make it harder to identify characters in later parts of a story. Dialogue from characters can reveal region, class, education, and style of thinking.

Journal #7

Class Discussion

CHARACTER:

Ronald “Raging Ronny” Smith’s character is significant because he’s so passionate about a certain thing that he will never give it up. He’s gone through the craziest extremes to fulfill his wildest dreams. When someone’s that dedicated to accomplish the goals they set out, failure suddenly becomes not an option.

SETTING:

Both the retirement homes in Raging Ronny have significance to the story. The first retirement home is your average, a little below average home in Ron’s hometown. You could compare the party at the first home as the first level completed on Ronny’s whole journey. The second home was a very above average, luxury home. This was Raging Ronny in his prime at the top of the top. The morale of the different homes is that Ronald started from the bottom and worked his way up to the top.

Journal #8

  • All characters in any story should want something. They should have a desire for something. This makes sense because if a character didn’t have some type of desire, they would be quite boring. Nothing really to look forward to.
  • Characters should have a consistent behavior throughout the whole story. You don’t want to have a character acting one way for most of the story and then suddenly switch up at the end. That’s just not really believable. However, characters should possess the ability to change.
  • A key to getting to know your characters is to put them in different scenarios and think of how they would handle the situation they’re in. What things they would say or do.
  • There are four ways to reveal a character’s traits: Action, Speech, Appearance, and Thought.
  • The name of a character should match the personality of him or her.

Journal #9

My Writing Process

My writing process has been really fun at times and really stressful at other times. To expand on that, some days of writing can be fun in the sense that I have a lot of creative ideas that I can just pour out onto paper. Most days, however, it’s the opposite. I’ll just be sitting at my desk, staring at a blank screen, waiting for ideas to come to me.

My original idea for the story was quite literally a “short” story. So trying to find new things to put into the text is a little difficult, I’d say. Not knowing how long my short story should be makes it hard to add new content because I’m not sure if A.) it flows wells with the rest of the story and B.) my story is becoming too long. I’m going to have to find ways to alter my current story into a decent short story.

I’ve never really been into reading or writing like that, however, I will admit that it is fun writing because there are no rules you have to follow. You can literally write about whatever. I find that helpful at times, still though, I often have creativity droughts where I simply can’t put anything down on paper.

In revision, I’m already thinking I’m going to struggle. I’m confident that my grammar is mostly okay. But my sentence structure and flow of the story might need some touching up. Hopefully, Raging Ronny can help me get a passing grade on this.

Journal #10

Setting

  • When a reader is reading a piece of fiction, they expect it to feel real even if it’s in a life they don’t or never will know about. This makes the setting very important because it puts the picture in the reader’s head of where they are.
  • Travelling to various fictional places and times can be one the most entertaining aspects of reading. These places can resemble a journey of escape or straight into the familiar.
  • When writers talk about place, they mean a specific and definite location of a story, on a large and small level. This could be a planet, continent, country, state, city, neighborhood, street, etc.. This is significant because it tells the reader where they are but still allows them to imagine their own version of that location.
  • Timing is a lot like place as time can give us a sense of the backdrop of the story in the big sense (the era, century, year) and in the small sense (the season, day of the week, and time of day). Again this allows the reader to know and still be able to imagine.
  • Setting plays a big role with who your characters are as well. Setting can give away how characters talk, how they dress, socialize, work, travel, eat, etc..
  • Often times, the setting of a fictional story could be an authentic, real place. This makes an unreal story feel more realistic because it’s in a real place that you can go visit in real life.
  • “Time passes for our characters, but the writer controls how quickly or slowly it flows. Writers do not show every moment of a plot, every instance in a character’s life from birth until death, but instead speed through or skip over sections of time that irrelevant to the story, while slowing down and expanding the sections that are most important. If you move too quickly through an important section, the reader can feel disappointed or even confused. Likewise, if you move too slowly or dwell on irrelevant events, you can bore your reader.

Journal #11

Peer Review

Writer: Riley Patenaude

Reviewer: Jimmy DeCrisantis

The story is about how Lia, a nineteen year old girl, chases her dream of climbing as many mountains as she can.  Specifically, Lia is taking on the Pacific Crest Trail, also known as the PCT. Lia always carries around a pouch with her containing special items that she treats as good luck charms.  I’m pretty sure the story is not finished yet, but so far it’s coming together nicely.

I enjoyed the flashback Lia encountered revealing the meaning behind a note which she keeps in her special pouch.  During the flashback, Lia is back in her freshman year of high school. She gets a note in her locker that said to meet her best friend’s boyfriend under the bleachers after school.  Lia then sees the boyfriend’s best friend who explains how she got the wrong note and replaces it with another note. The part I liked best is when Lia reads the actual note, the reader doesn’t know what it says but that it changed everything forever.

My biggest questions would have to be: what does the note say and who is it from?  This note is obviously very important to Lia so it probably has significance toward the storyline.  I would also like to know how Lia’s Pacific Crest Trail journey turns out. Is she able to complete the exhibition?  Do Lia and her parents run into any trouble on their hike?

I think the story is overall written pretty smoothly.  One suggestion I would make is to be more descriptive with the Pacific Crest Trail.  Tell the reader how the PCT looks and if Lia or her parents are going to have any difficulties on their odyssey.

Peer Review

Writer: Sinead Scott

Reviewer: Jimmy DeCrisantis

This story is about how a young boy, Kai, plays a game in which he tosses apples up over a fence and listens to the loud clank sound when the apple lands on a strip of metal.  Kai has played this game everyday of his summer, so when the loud sound wasn’t heard, he knew it wasn’t because he missed. He then walks along a rock wall until her gets to barn.  However, the significance of the barn is unknown as the story is yet to be completed.

I like how the story so far is pretty simple.  The storyline is easy to follow and nothing really complex has occurred.  My favorite part was when Kai told his father that he would stay within the fence while his dad was at work.  Kai obviously didn’t listen and watched his Pop leave until he wasn’t in sight, then sprinted outside past the fence.  I remember doing similar disobedient things in my youth.

Seeing how the story has not been completed, a clear question I have is: what happens with Kai at the barn?  I get the feeling that Kai might find something life changing in the barn. I would also like to know if Kai gets in trouble with Pop about leaving the fenced in yard while Pop was at work.  I used to get in trouble with my dad about things like that.

I think the only suggestion I can make this far is to describe the rules of Kai’s game a little better.  It could be just me, but I had a little difficulty comprehending the rules. Other than that, continue to write the way you have been.  I think this a great story in the making.

Journal #12

Based off the peer review I received from my group, I think I have a good idea of where I’m going to go next with my short story: Raging Ronny. I already have a flash back typed up that I want to add in somewhere towards the beginning or earlier stages of the story. My group suggested that the flashback have all the characters together when they were younger. Then they said it would be a nice touch if I brought all the characters back together in present time while they’re all of old age. I really liked this idea because I think it will make for a really nice ending.

Another suggestion made was to expand on the party scene at the second party. One of my group members brought up the point that the second party scene is a little quick or too brief. I think this will be an easy adjustment to make to further benefit the descriptiveness and detailing of my story. My peer review group has pointed out to me simple improvements that are going to greatly assist my short story.

Journal #13

  • Find out what we know, challenge what we know, own what we know, and then give it away in language. For example: I love my brother, I hate winter, I always lose my keys. You would have to know and describe your brother so well that he becomes every reader’s brother.
  • Poetry is an intimate act. It’s about bringing forth something that’s inside you. It could be a memory, a philosophical idea, a deep love for another person or for the world, or an apprehension of the spiritual.
  • Start with what you know and move out into the larger questions.
  • Ideas for Writing: 1.) Make a list of memorable moments in your life weather it’s happy, sad, big, or small just so you can get an idea for what to write about
  • 2.) List the objects in your bedroom or whatever room you’re in. Make a poem about the objects you see with details.
  • 3.) Write about the things you do on an everyday basis. It could be as simple as brushing your teeth and showering in the morning or as complex as rocket science.
  • 4.) Write about the things you love. Maybe try writing about the things you hate. List them in columns and combine something you love with something you hate.
  • 5.) Start writing the words, “I don’t know” and go from there.
  • 6.) Begin the poem with a question: Who? What? Where? When? Why? How? Then try to answer that question with your own experiences.
  • 7.) Write a poem instructing the reader to do something you know how to do really well. Don’t sound like an instruction manual, make it beautiful, make the lesson one that tells someone about how to live in the world.

Journal #14

I liked how there really isn’t a “right” or “correct” way to write a poem. This is important I think because it allows your writing to be your writing and nobody else’s. What I mean by that is that you could write something that is maybe considered to be unusual according to society but it can still have massive impacts on millions of people around the globe that you didn’t even know existed, nevertheless going through the same situation as you might be going through. I also like the music connection because I thought that made it really clear that line breaks and punctuation don’t have to always be the same in every piece of poetry. I also appreciated the suggestion of making a draft of your poem and rewriting it in different lengths or different amounts of stanzas. This, in my head, would make it very easy to come up with the best possible poem because you could stretch it out or compact it. You’d see what works, and what doesn’t. Basically like having options of the same poem to choose from, which one makes the most sense or flows the best. Poetry should belong to the author of the poem because its coming from their thoughts, their eyes, their words. This has made me realize that it should be freeing to write poetry, just letting your mind and imagination run wild.

Journal #15

I Don’t Know

I don’t know where I’ll end up,

who I’ll see, or what I’ll be.

I don’t know why this happened,

but of course it had to be me.

I need to get through it,

you know? Just be free.

Better hurry before I turn to debris.

Journal #16

I like how the text explains how words in our language have been used over and over again for years and years, all the way to the point where they’re “worn out expressions,” “virtually useless,” or “clichéd.” Poetry shows new ways to display new connections through words and thoughts and/or ideas. The new connections are similes and metaphors. Instead of saying “Love is a rose,” it can be brought to a whole new level like, “Love is a dog from hell” by Charles Bukowski. I also liked the poem by Jack Gilbert called Michiko Dead. I thought it was interesting that the first line was a simile, then the remainder of the thirteen line poem is explaining that simile very deeply. The simile is filled with emotion that connects to such a simple concept like holding a heavy box. This portrays a very important message disguised as a long paragraph of directions explaining how to carry a box when your arms get tired. Lastly, I liked the last sentence before the “Ideas For Writing.” I thought it was very good advice. I feel like the language I use in some of my poems is clumsy so being patient with it and continuing to find new ways to express my ideas is going to be a great way to become a better writer.

Journal #17

The first key point that I really liked was how pictures or images can have some form of magic in them. When you are at the movie theater and an actor or actress lights up a cigarette or pours a glass of wine, there is an instant second where you can smell the cigarette smoke or the grapes from the wine. An image in poetry is when the language is so appealing that any of our five sense, sight; smell; hearing; taste; or texture, is reminded of an occurrence from our own life that we can see almost as clearly as the day it actually happened. The next thing I liked was how the author said how poets should use all five senses in their writing and maybe even more senses. I thought this was interesting because poets always have to be on “continual alert” as they experience the world around them and then put what they saw on paper in a way that a reader can experience it as well. Lastly, I thought it was really cool how Marie Howe was able to put sounds into her words on paper. It was cool that I could read her poem How Many Times in a very quiet place and still be able to hear the dog’s tail or the breaking of the water glass.

Journal #18

The first big key point in the reading was that revision is basically the worst, most fearful area of a poet’s work. Revision is difficult because it’s not easy to go in a different direction from the poet’s original ideas or inspirations. Revision is demanding because it calls poets to go farther than they might be used to going. revision is dangerous because you can lose the touch that was carried by the original poem through the revising process. Another key point that I thought was important was that revision in a simpler sense is, “a re-visioning of the poem”s potential and the strategies it has used so far.” I thought this was important because revision can get people like me extremely frustrated with their work. But knowing that revision is meant to get your poems to their full potential is helpful. The last key point that stuck out to me was one of the tips listed at the end of the reading. It said to write a line five different ways and see which one fits with the rest of the poem in the most fluent manner. I thought this was a great tip because its just like anything in life, if something doesn’t work, keep trying something different until it works out.