Raging Ronny First Draft
Today will be remembered as the worst day ever for now 58 year old, Raging Ronny. Back in his heyday he was known for being the craziest dude at any party. Unfortunately, today Ronald “Raging Ronny” Smith will be checking into a retirement home in his hometown. Ron has been dreading this day since his college graduation roughly 25 years ago. Once he arrives, however, he’s greeted by his friends from high school. Party Peter and Crazy Cathy nearly had heart attacks when they saw him. They quickly start reminiscing back to their partying days.
Ron realizes that maybe the retirement home wouldn’t be so bad after taking a tour of his new living space. When they make their way into the main ballroom, the three retired rager’s lightbulbs all flashed on at the same exact time. Ronny is the one who said it out loud, “We need to throw one last party!”
Once Pete and Cathy come back to reality, they realize the dangers of throwing a huge party at a retirement home.
“Ron, you could have a heart attack! You remember what happened back in ‘98, don’t you?” said Pete.
“That was over 20 years ago. I know how to control myself now” said Ron.
Cathy is on the fence and can’t decide who’s side to back up. So, just like the old days, she chooses the party life.
“Don’t be a sissy, Peter” said Crazy Cathy with an aggressive tone.
Pete caved and the traumatizing trio had returned. Immediately they started planning the whole thing out. Cathy was in charge of making the banners and other decorations. Peter was in charge of getting enough snacks and drinks to last the night. Ronny had the important job of inviting everyone and making sure the home’s security did not know anything. Of the three of them, none looked a day over fifty.
The party was set to start at 7:30 P.M. and the whole retirement home was buzzing. Old ladies replace their denchers, old men stretch out so they don’t break a hip.
Once the party was underway, it appeared to be a complete success… for fifteen minutes. The deaf people at the home turned the music up so loud that the speakers blew out. The blind folks started walking into bowls of fruit punch making a complete mess. And ol’ Johnny broke his freakin’ hip.
Security shut down the place pretty quick. The PA came on and said “can Ronald Smith come to the security office please.” Ron felt like he was in high school again.
After being in the home for eight whole hours, Raging Ronny was kicked out and banned from the building for life. When asked if he had anything to say for himself, he calmly said, “I can’t wait to do it again at the next home.”
